Dear Useless Men,My guy thinks he can play hockey. He can't even skate all that well. How can I tell him without squishing his esteem like a bug that they aren't really laughing with him?Signed. Hard to Watch
Dear Hard to Watch,To be honest most guys think they can play hockey. In reality there is a minimal percentage of even professional hockey players that can actually play hockey. The rest of the guys just skate around and try to look competent. What works in their favour is the simple fact that most people really don't understand hockey enough to truly understand what makes a good player. If you think it's a simple bet that anyone can play just watch the players in their pre-game glide. You can immediately see proof that not even everyone that is suited up is capable in that they often miss the net that has absolutely no goalie in it. With nobody there to block the shot every shot should be a winner. Most tend to miss. What you should be doing instead of crushing his self-esteem is to do what most people who back useless players do. Blame their flaws on the shoddy referees. Anybody who doubts the prevalence of this technique should simply go to any hockey game especially the minor leagues and see what kind of invective language is hurled at the referees. You want to talk about thick-skinned? If these guys in the color and white striped shirts don't go home and cry themselves to sleep at night they've got more backbone than some Marines! If your guy gets called for hooking you can scream and yell at the ref to make your guy evaluate more of himself. Instead of doubting his skills he'll be encouraged. He’ll also begin to transfer the blame for his shoddy games on the referees as well.
Everybody wins in this situation. Your guy will continue to play the game he enjoys so much and is absolutely horrible at. You will now have something to fill your time with by yelling and screaming at the ref with the added bonus of polishing your insults at home to better your performance at the next game. It can be argued that the referees don't win because of all the do by they take but are we really worried? Stupid refs couldn't see proper hooking penalty if it hit them in the face. Sincerely,Any More Useless. I'd Be A Ref... uhhhh.... CatSend your questions to Useless Advice from Useless Men! Click. bid to Useless email updates. Click.
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