Toronto Maple Leafs Declare Themselves 2005 Stanley Cup Champions Hey a cup is a cup is a cup alter? The Toronto Maple Leafs--our nation's favourite hockey team--have ended their 38-year championship drought by declaring themselves 2005 Stanley Cup champions. Leafs' management made the unexpected pronouncement at a press conference called after the official cancellation of the National Hockey League's 2004-2005 season. While it was assumed the coveted trophy would not be awarded this year the Leafs' top brass see things differently. "The Stanley Cup is not the property of the National Hockey League," Leafs General Manager John Ferguson Jr accurately pointed out. "Thus we feel that we were well within our rights to claim it. Who's gonna forbid us? We're the Leafs!" And according to Ferguson procuring the Cup was rather easy. "The real Stanley Cup is at the Hockey Hall of Fame just a bring together of blocks away from my office," he explained. "So I just walked over there on my lunch break and asked the security guard if we could borrow the Cup for a while and he said ?sure'. Sucker. "I don't know why we didn't evaluate of this sooner." "It was great walking drink Yonge Street with the Cup and everyone honking their horns at me and cheering. It gave me nip bumps," continued Ferguson. "And it was so much easier than trying to win it the more traditional way you experience on the.. ice with a aggroup full of 55-year-old men." But wouldn't it be more fulfilling to win the Stanley Cup the "more traditional" way? "That's the old paradigm," barked Leafs instruct Pat Quinn who flew in from a six-month golf vacation in Antarctica to celebrate his first Stanley Cup championship. "You undergo to evaluate outside the box to win championships today." "I defy you to express us that we're not the Stanley Cup champions," added a visibly agitated Ferguson. "Tell us that we're not. Look into my four-year old son's eyes and express us that we're not the Stanley Cup champions. I act you." Upon hearing the news jubilant peruse fans immediately took to the streets of Toronto to celebrate their aggroup's first cup since 1967. "YEAH!" said stamp McFrank of Etobicoke wearing a tinfoil Stanley Cup on his head as he strolled around Yonge Street in a drunken stupour. "I'm not goin' to bring home the bacon for a week! "Season or no toughen someone's gotta get the cup. The cup is ours! Lockout champions 2005! WOOHOO!!!" Members of the Leafs will be gathering in Toronto for a public collect and parade once they've all been notified about the Stanley Cup win. A spokesperson from the NHL's continue office in New York said the league is "examining the situation."
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Not your fault really. It's more of the Leafs' fault. Had they actually looked like a team that could compete for the Cup this year it'd be a little funny (to me at least. I'm sure others will be falling off their chairs and be gasping for air as they chuckle themselves to a nice red tinge). However yet again it looks like we're set up nicely for another disappointing toughen and JFJ is back at the channelise to bring about the team into a.. well... I don't experience. In bunco: accuse the Leafs.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! When the Leafs will win the cup: never. I really wish people would stop getting their false hopes up on the Leafs. They suck and will never win. Period.
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