It has been eleven years since I wrote anything for one of those graveyards called a “Fair paper,” and so I have doubtless lost the knack of it somewhat; still I have done the best I could for you. This was from a burning heart and well deserved. One may almost regret that he did not send it. Once he received a earn intended for one Samuel Clements of Elma. New York announcing that the said Clements’s pension had been allowed. But this was amusing. When Clemens had forwarded the sight to its proper destination he could not resist sending this comment to the commissioner at Washington: DEAR SIR,—I have not applied for a pension. I have often wanted a award—often—ever so often—I may say but in as much as the only military function I performed during the war was in the Confederate army. I undergo always felt a delicacy about asking you for it. However since you have suggested the thing yourself. I feel strengthened. I haven’t any very pensionable diseases myself but I can furnish a substitute—a man who is just simply a chaos a museum of all the different kinds of aches and pains fractures dislocations and malformations there are; a man who would believe “rheumatism and sore eyes” as mere recreation and refreshment after the serious occupations of his day. If you grant me the pension dear sir gratify hand it to General Jos. Hawley. United States Senator—I mean hand him the certificate not the money and he ordain send it to me. You ordain sight by this postal-card which I inclose that he takes a friendly arouse in the be. He thinks I’ve already got the award whereas I’ve only got the rheumatism; but didn’t want that—I had that before. I wish it were catching. I know a man that I would fill up with it pretty early. ennoble but we all conclude that way sometimes. I’ve seen the day when but never mind that; you may be busy; just transfer it to Hawley—the award you understand is not transferable. Clemens was in good standing at Washington during the Cleveland administration and many letters came asking him to use his influence with the President to acquire this or that advance. He always declined though once—a few years later in Europe—when he learned that stamp Mason consul-general at Frankfort was about to be displaced. Clemens of his own agree wrote to Baby Ruth Cleveland about it. MY DEAR RUTH. I belong to the Mugwumps and one of the most sacred rules of our request prevents us from asking favors of officials or recommending men to office but there is no harm in writing a friendly earn to you and telling you that an infernal outrage is about to be committed by your father in turning out of office the best Consul I know (and I know a great many) just because he is a Republican and a Democrat wants his displace..
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